Raising children

I love this photo. It’s me, taken Nov 1983 in Lubbock, Texas, when I was visiting grandparents.

That plane was the top best stealth plane in the US at the time.

It was a small break from my life in Scientology. I loved the visits to my grandparents in Lubbock. It was space and freedom away from the bizarre upbringing I was enduring in Los Angeles. I am eternally grateful to my grandparents for trying as best as they could to show me some normalcy.

After being in Scientology for the majority of my childhood, I didn’t have any real experiences with regular things.

Yes, we celebrated Christmas with gifts, and there was a turkey dinner on Thanksgiving, but we lived in small quarters, often shared with other families. We never cooked our meals. When they were made, they were galley style meals with a cafeteria type set up for choosing food items.

Now since being out of Scientology I am constantly discovering aspects of raising my children that had never occurred to me.

It was always assumed I would follow my mom into the Sea Org so no other possible path was offered to me.

I am certain this was the case with all the children of Sea Org members.

We were told as children that we had lived before and we just needed to remember. That was it. And, if you had younger siblings you were expected to raise them. And again, you were expected to “remember” how to raise your siblings.

The parents were too busy with Scientology to raise their children.

And so how that carries over to today? Well, for me, I am constantly having to change gears for whatever thing my kids need. I am determined to do my best to raise them.

I wonder, no, I worry that they are missing out. I am doing the best I can. They seem to be doing well.

I am a little sad that I don’t have memories to fall back on. “How it was when I was in fourth grade…?” Well that never happened.

I did do a couple years in public school but I was mostly in the Sea Org school that didn’t teach grade levels at all. We learned the three R’s and that was all. No geography, no science, no home economics.

It’s been interesting to learn everything on my own from opening a bank account, buying groceries, getting a job, renting an apartment, buying a home, learning to drive a car, learning to cook meals.

None of these very basic things were ever part of my upbringing.

Neither was it for the many other second and third gens who found the courage to walk away.

Well, the one thing we did learn VERY early in life, probably the best advice ever: “Figure it out yourself.”