The State of Clear and other inconsistencies
I was confirmed as a Clear in Scientology in April 1990 and assigned a Clear number. In one sense the number, in the 42 thousands, seems high. But on the other hand, as we consider Scientology’s goal of Clearing Earth, there was a long, long way to go.
I’ve written in other articles about my concerns that I had seen in others who had been recognized as Clears who had major red flags.
That last year in Scientology for me was the straw that broke the camels back, and opened my eyes wide to how unreal Scientology really was.
There were so many Clears with all kinds of irrationalities and bad behaviors. What was the point of Clearing earth if the Clears already made were so off?
And so, in those last five months, as I was being watched 24 hours a day, and interrogated, I also brought up my own Clear state.
Was I really a Clear? If I was such a bad person, what did it matter?
And so, in one of my very last interrogation sessions, I was told I was not actually a Clear after all.
I snickered. And became snide. What a complete joke Scientology was to me. I was very sour about it.
How had I been allowed to get high up on OT levels AND get the specialized training to verify Clears?
So in the end, not only was I, in their “high standards”, unqualified for my job, but I was a Suppressive Person to boot.
It just makes me wonder how perfect and great Scientology really is if I could make it so high in training and auditing, AND sneak my way around Scientology as a Suppressive Person for 32 years.
Was I pure evil hiding in plain site?
The whole thing is so full of holes as far as logic is concerned.
The only thing I regret is I hadn’t discovered this earlier.
The cult lives on status. They conditioned all of us you must attain your next level. Auditing level, training level, IAS level, building donation level etc. You, the infinitely capable thetan you were had to pay or work to achieve greatness. Trapped in a squirrel cage wheel and where did it get us. Completely arrested our development until we were finally free of their oppressive rules, labeling and demeaning control to subjugate you. We, who are out of that lifestyle, can look back at it and can laugh about the silly rules and status. SP my ass. You're a spouse, mom, and friend to many. No longer do any of us have to hide in shame from the world at what we were, part of a sinister greedy godless cult. Welcome to the sunshine and fresh air. Thank you for all your work and insight in this blog. It really is a gift of sharing your recovery from the toxic effects of Scn and invitation to continue to free our minds from the conditioning.
Sunny, I for one am so happy 😊 you are a suppressive and cnot clear. This state has made you able to enjoy life on your terms and love who you want when you want. I am so sorry this happened to you, but now you are actually doing work by telling your story. Thank 😊 you! Enjoy your freedom and family!