I Have Questions
This is me, somewhere within the last three months of my time in Scientology. Yeah, 32 years was coming to an end, and a new life awaited me. Edit: actually this was about three months before I was busted. I still was there under 24 hour watch for five months….
I’ve mentioned in previous articles about my concerns with what Scientology calls The State of Clear. We just had so many Clears that had so many issues and problems. How could they be Clear? There is always a carrot and a stick and a carrot and a stick. Oh, the next level will fix it…. Until your pockets are empty, you pushed away your family and you are utterly bankrupted. That seems to be the outcome of Scientology.
But hey, they still smile!
I remember one time when I was about 14, I was at the airport after visiting with my grandparents for the summer. By then both my brother and I smoked like chimneys.
I had gotten very sick earlier in the trip and my grandma had offered me aspirin, to which I declined. I didn’t want to see a doctor or take any medication. I had believed that doctors were only for broken bones. And aspirin was bad. She gave me an odd look and dropped it.
But as I was getting on the plane, she stopped me and asked me, “why are you allowed to smoke a pack of cigarettes a day but you won’t take aspirin when you are sick?!?!”. I understood why, but I had no time to explain as the plane was boarding. I just said “well, you’ll just have to learn more about Dianetics.”
Thinking back, what a horrible example of Scientology. Smoking and refusing medication that could help me get better. At age 14, no less. It was embarrassing.
But after writing my last article about Flag training, another question that has haunted me the most….
How can I know if Scientology has all the answers if I have nothing to compare it to?
And this is something every second gen must wonder.
Of course coming into Scientology later in life such as our parents did, they had something to compare.
But second and third gens?
We relied on faith. Or Tone 40 intention. Or indoctrination. To tell us so. We had to blindly believe that Scientology was the answer.
But was it? Is it?
I’m out 20 years now and I still haven’t found anything that points me to Scientology having ALL the answers, as they claim.
But I’ll keep looking.
I feel so bad for all people who were born in or raised in and had nothing to compare. No beliefs to fall back on. You e done amazing job in de-cultifying and reading your regular articles help many of us who read them. I started at 18 so at least had some structure and values before I threw it away for 30 years. Now that I'm out I had to reintegrate into society, research human philosophy and medicine that works (not nicotine, ugh, gross). Each of us peeling the onion of false indoctrination has the same journey. I studied what human beings far smarter than ol elron were. Roman philosophy, American authors, a little Buddhism and now working on the Bible to find my spiritual way to Peace, and Truth and Love which we all deserve and have a very high capacity in sharing those traits with others on the journey.